One day left in 2013

Just loved the quote in this picture.  

Man can't believe another year come and gone.  Every year it just goes faster and faster. As every year the end of the year makes you look back in reflection on the year.  Most years I see memories and make plans for the next year to be better.  That is always a good thing but in reality life will always have its ups and downs and no year will be perfect so I like to look back and see where I have grown spiritually, emotionally and such.  

This year has been another challenging one.  I am still fighting the arm issues and not able to play and work like I am use to.  We also went through some job changes for Eric and a big move to Oregon this mid November.  It has been CRAZY!!!  but I look back and see lessons in all of it.  

I am excited to see what 2013 brings for us!! May it be a very blessed year and full of great memories for all.  Have a very safe and happy New Years Eve!!!

A joke we played on my grammy this christmas! "adult content"

This was a joke we played on my dear ole grandma.  But I think grandpa is just as funny as grandma:)  It does contain "adult" stuff so kids may not want to watch.  It is just to funny!!!

Merry Christmas to all!!

Merry Christmas to all!!! May it be a truly blessed christmas and may we all remember the true reason for the season!!! JESUS!!  

Love this Christmas Prayer

I ain't much good at prayin',

and You may not know me, Lord—

For I ain't much seen in churches,

where they preach Thy Holy Word.

But you may have observed me

out here on the lonely plains,

A-lookin' after cattle,

feelin' thankful when it rains.

Admirin' Thy great handiwork.

the miracle of the grass,

Aware of Thy kind Spirit,

in the way it comes to pass

That hired men on horseback

and the livestock that we tend

Can look up at the stars at night,

and know we've got a Friend.

So here's ol' Christmas comin' on,

remindin' us again

Of Him whose coming brought good will

into the hearts of men.

A cowboy ain't a preacher, Lord,

but if You'll hear my prayer,

I'll ask as good as we have got

for all men everywhere.

Don't let no hearts be bitter, Lord.

Don't let no child be cold.

Make easy the beds for them that's sick

and them that's weak and old.

Let kindness bless the trail we ride,

no matter what we're after,

And sorter keep us on Your side,

in tears as well as laughter.

I've seen ol' cows a-starvin'—

and it ain't no happy sight;

Please don't leave no one hungry, Lord,

on Thy Good Christmas Night—

No man, no child, no woman,

and no critter on four feet

I'll do my doggone best

to help you find 'em chuck to eat.

I'm just a sinful cowpoke, Lord—

ain't got no business prayin'

But still I hope you'll ketch a word

or two, of what I'm sayin':

We speak of Merry Christmas, Lord—

I reckon You'll agree—

There ain't no Merry Christmas

for nobody that ain't free!

So one thing more I ask You,

Lord: just help us what You can

To save some seeds of freedom

for the future Sons of Man!

A Sad and Scary week

This has been a terrible week in our country.  We had a shooting at our local mall and now the shooting in Connecticut   This is soooooooooooooooooooooooo sad!!! I just don't know why it isn't hitting home to people that we need to change things.  All I keep hearing is we need tougher gun control laws over and over.  Here is the thing. People that have bad intentions will find a way...either stealing guns or going to other bad options such as homemade bombs etc. Unarming responsible citizens will not change what bad intentions people have:)  
  It really comes down to a lot of other things.  It can be problems at home, in school, etc.  It can be the violence in video games and media.  It can be the lack of being held responsible for actions.  I think there is a lot of things that ad up to this.  For me I truly believe the #1 reason is the lack of GOD in lives and then I think it trickles down to how children are raised and violence in the media and video games.  I know everyone has their own opinions and their own feelings on this.  It is just sooooooooooooooo VERY tragic.  My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected by these tragedies and all that have occurred before this.  

Our Northern woods tree

Love our little tree!!!  Our new home is such a blessing.  Love this place.  Such a beautiful evening next to the tree and fire!

we have internet!!!

YAY we got internet in the house now:)  I will have to get pictures and such together and get some posts going to do some catch up.  can't wait to catch up on reading about all my blog friends.  Hope y'all are having a very blessed holiday season!!

crazy busy and still no internet

Things have just been crazy busy with trying to get things all settled at new house and with the holidays beginning   Loving our new house.  Even started getting it decorated for Christmas   Hoping to get that finished this weekend.  Hard to believe tomorrow is the 1st of December already.  Every year seems to go faster and faster!!  I am hoping next week we will be getting our internet so I can catch up with some pics and stories:) 

The view from my living room windows.  So beautiful!

Happy Thanksgiving

Just wanted to tell all my blogger friends happy thanksgiving;)  We still don't have internet yet.  I know, I know where did we move to the moon?  No but to the country and looking for options that aren't dial up:)  So as soon as I get it up and going will have to share pics and stories.  Miss y'all and hope all is well with all my blogger friends!!

No Internet yet but we are in Oregon

We haven't gotten our internet up and going yet.  So using brothers.  Lots has been happening since we left.  Not great weather on our trip, and just busy with getting things settled into the new house and horses at their new place.  It is just crazy here.  Just wanted to update for a second:)  Hope to have our internet in the next week so I can catch y'all up and show pics of the new place:)  Miss my blogger friends!

Tomorrow we are on the road:)

Well tomorrow is the day we hit the road for Oregon!  We have been so busy and so stressed but it is almost here.  Getting everything into the truck and trailer was like working a crazy jigsaw puzzle.  Everything has stuff in it and between it and under it.  It is just crazy!! Praying it all makes it ok.
  We are excited to be going but I am a stressed out ball of mess about the trek   Just praying the weather won't be to bad anywhere and that the horses do great getting there with the transporter.  I worry so much about them.  Especially since Pringle coliced two weeks ago.  They both seem well now and just hoping they stay that way.  So please if you remember pray for good weather and a smooth trip:)  Thanks!!
  We won't have internet for a little while so I will check in as soon as I can.  I will miss all my bloggers:)

Pack, Pack, Packin

Haven't had much time for bloggin and updates lately.   We are just busy pack, pack, packin.  We will be leaving here next friday.  We are excited to be getting moved!  Now it is just trying to get everything packed up and cleaned that keeps us busy, busy, busy.  And of course the last minute doctors and physical therapy till I can get the new docs and such in Oregon.  I am excited to share about life there.  It will be a whole new chapter there and nice to be close to friends and family.  Hope everyone had a very happy halloween and now it is onto the holidays:)

Got the house

So we got the house we wanted and in the area we wanted:)  I am only like 3.5 miles from my best friend and within 3-10 miles of most of my friends and family.  We are very excited.  I am stressed out mess with how it is all going to happen and with getting all the animals especially the horses there safe and healthy.  So trying to just trust GOD and let it all into his hands.
  So Husband is flying home today and will be in tonight and then the packing is on.  We hope to leave Colorado the 9th and be to Oregon on the 10th sometime.  Lots to do and hoping we can get it all to fit in the Uhaul and such.
  Be good to say goodbye to Colorado and to get to be with friends and family.  The holidays this year will be great.  Having family and friends to celebrate is what the holidays are for:)

Husband didn't get a front picture but he had to get a pic of the two car garage:)

He has wanted a garage since I met him and finally he will have one.  Good thing since he says all it does in Oregon is RAIN RAIN RAIN!!! Which is prity true:)

The back porch that will be grate for bbqs

Nice big Kitchen

One of my favorites...A bookshelf:)  I REALLY wanted one:)

And the biggest selling point not only a tub but a jet tub:)  

 
 

Been a very bad week-packing, colic and such

Just busy with packing and trying to get quotes and check references on horse shippers.  So that is keeping me VERY busy.  We are just waiting to hear if we got the house and then Eric will be on his way home.  Got horse boarding place lined up and ready.  We are suppose to know about the house by tomorrow evening and then Eric can head home.
  It has been a very bad and trying week.  Pringle Coliced on me and it went on for 3 days.  Getting really bad where I thought he might not make it and then after a terrible rolling and kicking incident that I couldn't stop he got better.  So not sure if he just had a displaced intestine or if the supplements for possible sand colic helped.  But just praying he keeps getting better and that it doesn't happen again.  Poor guy. Then I went into town to get some stuff for him and the brakes started grinding and turns out the calipers on both sides stuck so new brakes on the front at $700.  Which if husband was home would have been less than $300 in parts only.  So it has been a long trying week and I am looking forward to having my husband home.
  Well better get back to work.  So much to do and my body and arms aren't being very helpful so baby steps:)

Picture of the day and a still sick horse:(

It was beautiful and sunny with blue skies all morning and early afternoon and within 20 min this!!! It was a crazy winter storm that came in 3 spurts. I love the snow and winter storms but not today.  Pringle did great all last night and even this morning.  Was eating, drinking, and going to the bathroom and then at about 12:30 started acting uncomfortable and then broke out sweating again and wanting to roll.  So I got the vet coming again and tried walking him which he didn't do for long before he refused and by the time the vet got here he wasn't sweating anymore and his heart rate had gone back down but he was still acting very painful so we decided to do another round of mineral oil, electrolytes and such. PRAYING it works!!!  This weather isn't so fun to battle that.  Was really hoping we could get moved before all these crazy weather changes.  But hopefully only like 2 more weeks.

Husband still in Oregon and an emergency Vet call

Well Eric is in Oregon still looking for a rental place for us.  Not a whole lot of luck yet but one possibility that my husband loves but we would have to board our horses elsewhere.  Which that may have to happen for a while, but I just like being able to watch my horses throughout the day.  Especially after yesterday our weather changed fast and hard.  It went from around 68 to 43 in about 20 min and then it got colder and rained and then sleet and then snow.  And unfortunately Pringle coliced again:(  He seems prone to that in severe weather changes.  So called the bet out got him some meds and tubed him and so far he seems better. Will keep a close eye on him next few days and nights.  Of course it always has to happen when I am by myself and with my body so messed up right now It made things even worse.  But just glad he is ok.
  So we are praying to find a house by the end of this week so Eric can head back this way and we can get packed up and out of here!  We are both so excited and so ready to say goodbye to Colorado.

Halloween stuff,Travel, and failing picture a day

So first off I have totally failed myself and my friend B at the picture a day.  But honestly my life this year hasn't been all that interesting.  Mostly just doctors, doctors, doctors.. oh and physical therapy.  So haven't had a lot to share. I need to get to it though and share something.  like how embarrassing my house is right now in complete state of being ripped apart and gone through to pack:)

Husband left today for Oregon to find us housing and to look at jobs also.  The housing is the biggest part at the moment.  I know he won't have an issue finding work but housing that allows our zoo may be more difficult.  But something is out there and we are VERY excited to make the move.  It will be so awesome to be closer to friends and family.  To have people to spend the holidays with and friends to just enjoy time with.  Will definitely help with my injury to have others to keep my occupied while we work at fixing me:)

We did carve pumpkins yesterday before he went.  we didn't want to forgo the tradition but I can say I really made my arms angry but it is memories being made so we can't give up those:)  Just can't wait for the move to be all done.  And now hopefully more picture of the days and stories to go with:)  And I will be able to do a picture of the day with my friend "B" since we will be so much closer:)  SOOOOOO EXCITED!!! Can't ya tell:)

my pumpkin on the left and Handsomes on the right

Oregon bound sooner than later:)

Well we had to make the decision to have Eric be done with his job.  It wasn't a hard decision with BS he went through daily.  But with his 14+hrs a day 7 days a week he had no time to pack things up since my injury makes me mostly worthless on this endeavor   And we can't move out without finding a place out there first and we can't do that without going out there.  So we will be heading out probably next week sometime to take a load and look at housing and hopefully some jobs for eric.  We are hoping to be all done and moved by thanksgiving.  Hopefully little sooner with how fast the weather changes.  It will just be nice to be close to friends and family and to get a fresh start with new doctors and no political issues between them as been the issue lately with mine.  So we are scared and excited about all this.
   Got a lot of things to still figure out but it will all work out and we are praying GOD will show us all the right things to do.

New Doctors and finally some new hope for healing

Well I have been working on as much packing as I can, which is slim to none with my arms and neck pain.  But I finally had to throw a fit and say do something!! They just kept putting it off and off and I had run behind current doctors expertise.  But instead of him just admitting that which is totally fine he said take some anti depressants and go see a therapist and you be fine.  I was LIVID!!!  So I called my work comp caseworker and told her what had happened she was very upset.  She said that was unacceptable and that with all the tests showing the issues that should have never occurred   She said it happens more than it should and more than you think.  So not right.  But I have heard others say that to so I am not alone.  So they arranged for me to see a different doctor that does acupuncture  massage, and chiropractics.  Since my body doesn't do well with all the medications this is a great start.  And I love him.  He really seems to think he can help me.  He is appalled at how long they have let this go and the lack of treatment earlier on.  He is just worried that my nerves are to scared to recover so we are praying that isn't the case.  He said my case is complex and it will take time but he holds out hope to help me or find the help I need.  So I am excited for that.
   But we were hoping to move by Nov 1st so now we may have to push that back some:(  But if it means I am better and can move on in life it is worth it.  We are still going to pack everything and even take a load maybe in couple weeks so the move is on but it may be a couple months.  We shall see.  Hate moving when weather crappy but that just may be the case. The LORD has his plans.

Back from South Dakota and a move!

   Well we got back from South Dakota last night from finally getting our stuff from the storage unit up there.  It had been almost exactly two years since we left it there.  Man do I miss that place.  We love the sturgis area and the blackhills.  It was soooooo awesome to see our friends and spend a little bit of time with them.  The kids were a blast.  We were gone 5 days. We even got snowed on a few times.  Love the snow but hope it can wait till after we are moved:)  Now my body is even hating me more.  But we are working on new treatment for the pain. Trying to get some things settled before we make the move.
   Yes we are going to be making a move.  We are going to head back to my home state of Oregon.  We don't have the details figured out but that is what I am working on.  We got to figure out a place out there, job out there, and a way to get all our stuff there so I will be busy with that.  But it will be awesome to be closer to friends and family.  We are both excited and nervous.  It just makes it harder without me being able to prity much do anything.  So we are looking at all the options.
   So things are going to be crazy busy around here!

Lots to do this week

Sooooo much to do this week.  With my arms still messed up and with all the nerve pain I have fallen sooo far behind on the house and such.  We worked on some yesterday but lots to go.  It drives me crazy having it so unorganized and messy.  But I got to get a lot done this week.  We are going up to South Dakota to get the rest of our stuff.  Yes it has been up there 1 month shy of two years.  This two years has sped by.  We had left it up there not only have we not really been able to afford to go get it but we hadn't decided on not going back.  Still not sure but I need things that are there.  We are still not sold on being here in Colorado.  The wages are prity good but that is cause housing is so expensive and cost of living.  But that we could live with.  It is beautiful no doubt.  But we have found it is really hard to make any friends.  People here really stick to themselves.  I have heard that from other new people also.  They say not all of Colorado is like that but up in this area is.  So it gets prity lonely here sometimes.  But we shall see what the LORD has in mind:)  

  I am just excited to see south Dakota again and to see our friends.  We will stay with them while we pack up the storage unit.  It will be fun to play with the kids and enjoy ourselves:)  So lots to do to get ready for the trip and for all the stuff coming back:)

Thanks for the nice anniversary wishes

Thanks for the anniversary wishes:)  They made me smile:)  We had a nice anniversary.  We went out to dinner and then we went to the hot springs pools.  We had never been yet and it was awesome!!! It was nice to just relax and enjoy each others company.  We loved, cuddled and played in the pool.  We still love to play like we are kids;)  It was just so awesome to look at my husband and be sooooooo in love with him after 3 years married and 6 years together.  I still love him as intensely and actually more now.  It does grow every day!! This man is the most amazing man ever! I thank GOD for him everyday!!!

Our 3 year anniversary is today!

    Today is our 3 year wedding anniversary!  I can't believe it has been 3 years already.  I have to say though that I am still madly in love with this man and it only gets stronger and stronger.  It has been a crazy 6 years for us all together.  We have struggled through a lot together with family, friends, sickness, sickness, and well lots of hospitals and doctors.  But I do have to say that I am the luckiest girl in the world to have such a loving, accepting husband.  he loves me no matter what!!  To say that is amazing and to know it is true is the best feeling in the world.  My husband truly loves me for me!  He doesn't ever make me feel any less loved for being sick, for being grumpy, for gaining so much weight with all the thyroid stuff and not being able to get it off, he just loves ME!  I really hope that all women find that and feel that.  That is the most amazing feeling in the world.  

    We are going to go to dinner and then to the hot pools to celebrate.  Just relax and enjoy some time together.  We love our time together:)  He is my best friend and I am beyond blessed to have found him and get to spend the rest of my life with him.  He is the best guy ever!!

    Thanks Handsome for an amazing first 3 years.  I know things aren't always the best, but with you by my side everything is ok.  I love you more than I could ever say and I look forward to as many more years as the LORD allows:)  

A day out of the house- Beautiful fall colors

So we have both been sick and my arms have not been cooperating so we decided to take a drive up to aspen and the area and see the Maroon Bells.  AMAZING!!! The only downer is all the smoke from up north made it hard to get good pictures.  So when that clears up some we will have to do it again.  Maybe after the first few snows:)  It is so beautiful up there.  We drove through Snowmass and wow it is pretty there than even aspen I think. Then we went into aspen and walked around and had ice cream.  By then it was time to drive to maroon bells a few miles up the mts.  You can only drive your vehicle in during certain hours and the other times you have to take a bus. I could see why with how many people were there and the lack of parking.  But it was a very fun trip.

Another injection

Well had another injection this am and this time a different one to see if it would help.  The doctor wanted to completely rule out CRPS.  This injection was even more painful than the others.  It went through the front f my neck right by my throat.  So it swelled up my neck some, caused a lump in my throat, made my eye red and droopy and such.  That all should go away today sometime but man does it hurt.  I can't see a difference yet but hopefully when all the drugs from sedation where of and some of the injection pain goes away we will see a difference.  I am so ready to have my life back.
   I am being told I may have to have a desk job and may not be able to do things like I use to.  Any of you that know me well knows that doesn't sit well with me.  I like to work hard and play hard.  I like to stay physical.  I fight my weight enough as it is with all the thyroid issues so staying so complacent has been rough, rough, rough and has taken an even bigger tole on the scale, which of course has made things even harder for me.  I hope to see less pain in the near months and then I hope to kick my rear back into physical gear.
  

I know, I know its early:)

My boys showing off their new Halloween pj's:)  I know it is early but those of you that know me know I LOVE HALLOWEEN:) I love to dress up and decorate.  I will have to post pics of them in last years costumes and such closer to Halloween:)

Fighting your own body!!!

I fight my own body daily!  What I mean by that is that my heart and mind is energetic, adventurous and determined   But my body is a mess:(  I always say I wish I could have one day to feel normal and good.  I can't think back and remember one day that I felt good.  I have always had issues with things since I was little.  I have never said it aloud but I think some may have come from the things my mom did while she was pregnant but we don't know and we can't change it.  But I have always had issues with my stomach(ulcers, acid reflex, etc)  My body has just not been well.
   I just get so mad and frustrated that I want to go and do and my body won't let me:(  I am tough and I can push through what most people can't and there are times I can't.  But as a woman we want to be beautiful and thin and healthy.  Me I am not.  I look at myself and it makes me SO sad.  I have aged sooooo much and gained sooooooo much since the thyroid went to crap and no matter what I do I can't get it to change.  When my thyroid finally really quit I gained 70lbs in about 2 1/2 months and no matter what I do I can't loose it.  I had my thyroid removed 4 years ago this month and in that 4 years it has only been in "normal" range for 2 months.  It changed constantly and we don't know why.  So it is VERY frustrating.  We are trying to work it out to get on the us health insurance so I can get in to see a specialist.  But it is all so much,  I feel like I am being buried by my own body. I feel trapped.  I feel ugly.  I feel worthless.  These are horrible feelings to have but they are there.  I keep going and I keep fighting but it is hard and it takes a toll on a person.
   The cancer haunts me daily especially with some of the recent tests showing spots on my ribs and liver.  I try to have a great outlook but it is hard.  I know others struggle daily with thyroid issues and other issues.  It is very hard and I know I am not alone.  I just hope there is something to help me to feel better.
   Sorry for righting a bummer post but it is the real in my life and between that and my arm and neck problems it is really kickin me down.  I keep fighting and trying to stay positive and keep goin but to be honest I am TIRED:( SOOOOO TIRED!
  I hope somewhere down the road I can look at this blog and see my struggle but no that I beat it!! Thanks for bearing with me!

Not much to post about lately

Not a lot to post about lately.  I have been struggling not only with the nerve pain issues and arm pain but we are back to struggling with my thyroid levels so I have felt like a truck ran me over.  In the last 4 years I have only had "normal" levels for 2 months.  We have tried so so so many levels but they just never stay the same!  So we are trying to work things out for an insurance that will actually cover me.  Hopefully we can find a good doctor that can help.  Just so much going on and I try to stay positive and just do what I have to do but with the cancer possibilities, the thyroid stuff and all the pain in my arms and neck it is a lot.  I am trying to stay positive and strong.  I will fight all I can.  So we will see what happens.
  Other than that not a lot to say we didn't do anything really for labor day weekend.  We are trying to get money and time together to get back up to South Dakota to get our other storage unit of stuff back down here.  I am working on Halloween stuff.  Yes already:)  My favorite holiday so I start early.  I am making my costume this year.  I am going to be a cute scarecrow:)  I am excited about my costume:)  It will be a lot of fun!
  It is awesome having Eric working in the same town we live in and not being gone 3 weeks out of the month.  He loves doing his mechanic work again so I am very happy for him.  Nice to be able to have lunch together sometimes.  I am very thankful for that:)
  I am just excited now about the start of fall.  Love the temperatures starting to cool and the leaves starting to change.  I need to quit slaking on my picture a day:)

More camping:)

So we have gone camping the last 3 weekends and it has been great.  Eric had to work the 2 weekends before so we camped at the lake close to us so he could drive back and forth and feed horses.  Well this weekend he actually had Sat and Sun off. So we got to venture a little farther for a night and day:)  We went up to the grand mesa and it was soooo beautiful and so cool.  It never got hotter than like 68 around the lakes but that made for a nice cold night:)  But lots and lots of layers and blankets helped that.  We camped at 10,305ft.  Made it a lot harder to breath for sure:) 

Love the altimeter on the phone:)

Our little campsite

Eric fly fishin

cows visiting by our camp

Eric caught and released a purty brook trout!

Lands end!!  Wish it wasn't so smokey you could see forever!

And the blog giveaway winner is.......

Put all the names in the hat:)  Thanks for everyone that entered.  This has been really fun.  I will have to do more of these.

Mix em all around

And the winner is!!!

Peggy:)  Thanks for entering and it is nice to meet a new blogger:)  Just message me your address and such and I will get your package sent out:)  Hope you enjoy it all!!

Few more hours to enter the blog giveaway:)

Just got home from campin so I am unpacking and all that fun stuff.  I will be doing the giveaway sometime after 6pm mountain time:)  Love all the entries.  It has been fun.  I need to do these more often.  It is fun to come up with a little package and do the giveaways:)  Well see y'all this evening for the winner:)

NO entries for giveaway:(

Well I am officially very sad that In two days I have not had 1 entry for my giveaway:(  I hope to have a few to pick from next week.  Here is another pic of the giveaway:)

Well internet back up and running at home

Oh it is so nice to be connected to the world again:)  I am back up and running.  It is nice to catch up on all my blog reading:)  We had a great time last weekend going up to the lake to camp.  It was a crazy time since Eric had to work Saturday and we have to come back and forth to feed horses twice a day but it was still VERY nice to get out and enjoy some fun time.  We may try and get out again this weekend but we shall see.  

Don't forget to enter my Blog giveaway:)

the boys first time on the boat:)

Blogiversary Giveaway tell your friends

So still no internet at home. It looks like our satellite got him by lightning so we have to have it all redone. He will be out this afternoon. But I made it by starbucks so I could post my blog giveaway.   I was going to choose the winner Friday but since I didn't get it on time I will choose the winner on Monday. Anyone can enter. No rules, don't have to follow me if you don't want or anything special. Just leave a comment with your name and I will put you in the entries. So tell your friends.  I am really excited to be doing my 1st giveaway:)

still no internet:( blog giveaway when back

Still no internet and limited phone. hopefully fixed tomorrow so I can do my blogiversary giveaway.

blog anniversary and internet down:(

More tests and most likely surgery:(

Well this last injection didn't work and made things worse:(  Now I am having numbness and weird sensations in my legs.  So I seen my doc today and we have to do another needle EMG which I hate.  I do not like to be shocked at all and especially not with needles in my arm:(  Then they are sending me to the neurosurgeon.  It is all just a lot and kind of scary considering it is my spinal cord that is having the nerve issues. So we shall see what comes about!!
   Now I am just trying to get the stuff together for my upcoming blog giveaway.  Concentrating on other things:)

picture of the day-Blog giveaway sneak peek

Here is a sneak peek of one of the things that will be in my blog giveaway post on Monday:)

A good day yesterday

Well Eric went to put in an application and do an interview yesterday and they hired him on the spot and he actually ended up going right to work.  He is going to be working as mechanic and driving some for a company here in town.  He was so excited!! I knew he wouldn't have trouble finding work but he feels a lot better now:)  We had went to buy hay the other day and when we got to the place the guy asked us how much hay we wanted I said 10 bales(large squares) He said you sure that is all cause we probably not gonna have more for very long.  I said that all we can do till Eric got back to workin.  He says you want a job and Eric said you bet I do.  He said well go see my son over at the shop and when he told us which one we had to laugh cause that is one Eric had said he should try to apply at:)  So he did and now he is back to a workin man:)  He loves mechanic work so this is great for him and then being able to drive here and there it is a great fit.  You just never know about the people till you there a while so we shall see:)  But just thank you LORD for a job;)   They even wanted to hire me and send me to Salt Lake for training to drive a pilot car.  I would love to but my lovely injury and work comp is making that impossible now:(  But maybe in the near future who knows:)
 

Blog giveaway coming up:)

Next Monday is going to be my 3 year anniversary of blogging and I realized I have never done a blog giveaway.  So Monday I will be posting pics of the fun Items I will giveaway!!!  Can't believe it has been 3 years already.  Thanks to all who have kept up with me!

Picture of the Day-Old Memories

I have been thinking a lot about a cruise I went on 6 years ago sept.  Can't believe it has been that long already.  It is definitely one of the top memories I have.  It was just something me and my awesome friend Miss B came up with and then it included two other very awesome special people.  It was a girls trip and one I will forever remember and treasure!!  What amazing memories I have from that.  So here are just a couple pictures I love from it and man do I wish I could be that fit again:)

Me and My Dear Friend Miss B- Like a sister to me!

We had some great adventures together on this trip.  Even went to hell literally:) 

And this lady, man not enough words to say how special she is to me.  Truly this was the first place I felt like I actually had a family.  Owe her my life:)  What great times we had on this trip:)

and one of our awesome waiters:)  To fun:)

Need to be better about picture of the day

Had a great day fishing this am and then took a forest road through the back country.  When they say rough road they mean it:)  Wow this is amazing country and mountains amazing.  We were at over 9,000 ft and saw some just absolutely stunning places.  Man GOD is so big!!!:)

What do you want to know? I am an open book:)

I just want to open this blog up to the what do you want to know about me or what I think:)  I am an open book and maybe this is a way for people to know me better or to ask something you have always wondered.  I am definitely the type I would rather you ask and me have to answer a hard question than have you wonder or make up your own answer.  I think if we were all more open and honest about our lives and our feelings we could really change some things:)

Can't sleep

Just can't sleep.  I just don't know where our life is going or what we have in store for us.  I know GOD is in control but I just don't know how to to truly let go and let GOD.  We had yet another big disappointment today and I just don't know why.  Eric was suppose to have his surgery tomorrow to repair the nerve pain in his leg from his hernia surgery and we get a call from the doctor today that his insurance was cancelled yesterday.  He was actually considered an employee till Aug 6th and figured his coverage went till Sept 1st because of that.  And also thought they legally had to notify you of cancellation and offer cobra.  Which with all we have read is true.  So now we got to figure it out.  But we can't wait a couple more weeks for it to all be straightened out before Eric can find new work.  So I feel so bad for him he may have to start a new job and hold off while he in pain:(  Makes me soooooo sad:(   I just really don't understand why all this is happening.  Some is poor decisions on our part I know but a lot is out of our control.  I just pray GOD has big plans for us in the end. That he is using these things to make us stronger for him.  It is just so hard.  You just keep getting kicked over and over.  I try to stay positive and trust GOD but really a human can only take so much.  So he has to take over:)
  It is just scary with all that is going on with my health and to have Eric be in pain.  The cancer haunts me daily and I just don't want to live daily scared, sad and shot down.  LORD show me the plans you have for me.  I wanna make a difference here!

Been a while since I wrote an update

I have found myself avoiding writing on my blog and especially about personal stuff as it has opened me up to some heartbreak.  But then I realized I am missing out on a lot of good people also.  My number of readers has dropped significantly due to some of it but hey I started this as a way to just share my life.  Wether it good, bad, joy, sadness, etc.  I want to continue that.  I want to look back and read how far we have come.  It has been a rough few years and has still continued to be but hey that is how we all grow and learn.  I have definitely learned to be more compassionate and FAR less judgmental.  It is easy to look at someones life and say well they did this or they did that or if they did this or that.  But truth is we don't always know the whole story and not everyone is as capable as others of everything.  So it has really taught me a lot.
   We have had a rough couple of weeks.  Loosing Kohanna was a VERY VERY HARD and sad thing.  My heart is still broken and my house seems so empty without him.  I remember all the good times but it is still hard to not have him here.  I also had another injection in my neck that did not work this time and caused more pain:(  Next will be to see a neurosurgeon to see if we need to operate on my spinal cord:( Yikes really don't like that idea.  But we have to do what we have to do I guess.  And Eric's job had been a mess.  Never knowing what hours he was going to work, never knowing if he was going to have work, disrespect, guys getting so drunk they were picking fights or trying to crawl in bed with him(yes funny now but not at the time:)) He gave his two weeks.  He is going to have surgery Thursday for the pain from his hernia surgery and after that he will be back to looking for work.  I know he will find something quickly but it is still so stressful but so was always worrying about if he would have a job or enough hours or some drunken idiot was going to get him hurt.  So lots going on as you can see.  I TRUST GOD has it all in his hands and plans so we will see what comes about!

He left paw prints on my heart!!!

We had to say goodbye to our Kohanna yesterday afternoon:(  My heart is broken into a million pieces:(  He was my baby and I loved him with a love that is indescribable.  We do not have kids and so he was my kid.  I got him at 5 weeks old and had him for 12 years.  I got him when I was 20 so an entire decade of my life and starting on another.  I will miss him soooooooooooooooooooo VERY MUCH!!! I didn't even want to get out of bed this am because I knew he wouldn't be there to say good morning.  I know I am lucky to have had such an amazing long time with him.  But it doesn't matter like Eric said you always want just one more day!  

  I know he will be waiting at our ranch in the sky with our other beloved family members that have passed on.  But my heart aches for missing him and all of them now.  Thank you Kohanna for an amazing 12 years.  For your love, your silliness, for always making me laugh and talking back even if it made me mad at the moment.  You were loved by so many and made so many laugh.  You will always be very very very close in my thoughts and you will stay in my heart everyday!! You went through sooooo very much with me and I thank you for always making me laugh and for letting me fill your beautiful fur with many tears.  You were a truly amazing boy and I miss you like crazy!!!

Kohanna about 6 weeks old.  The tipis was his fist home and his favorite for sure. 

Got Milk Mom?

Of course his favorite weather!! Snow!!

This is my good side:)  

Forever in My heart!!!

Kohanna Yoda Chewbacca 

July 21 2000 to July 25 2012