Thanks for the nice anniversary wishes

Thanks for the anniversary wishes:)  They made me smile:)  We had a nice anniversary.  We went out to dinner and then we went to the hot springs pools.  We had never been yet and it was awesome!!! It was nice to just relax and enjoy each others company.  We loved, cuddled and played in the pool.  We still love to play like we are kids;)  It was just so awesome to look at my husband and be sooooooo in love with him after 3 years married and 6 years together.  I still love him as intensely and actually more now.  It does grow every day!! This man is the most amazing man ever! I thank GOD for him everyday!!!

Our 3 year anniversary is today!

    Today is our 3 year wedding anniversary!  I can't believe it has been 3 years already.  I have to say though that I am still madly in love with this man and it only gets stronger and stronger.  It has been a crazy 6 years for us all together.  We have struggled through a lot together with family, friends, sickness, sickness, and well lots of hospitals and doctors.  But I do have to say that I am the luckiest girl in the world to have such a loving, accepting husband.  he loves me no matter what!!  To say that is amazing and to know it is true is the best feeling in the world.  My husband truly loves me for me!  He doesn't ever make me feel any less loved for being sick, for being grumpy, for gaining so much weight with all the thyroid stuff and not being able to get it off, he just loves ME!  I really hope that all women find that and feel that.  That is the most amazing feeling in the world.  

    We are going to go to dinner and then to the hot pools to celebrate.  Just relax and enjoy some time together.  We love our time together:)  He is my best friend and I am beyond blessed to have found him and get to spend the rest of my life with him.  He is the best guy ever!!

    Thanks Handsome for an amazing first 3 years.  I know things aren't always the best, but with you by my side everything is ok.  I love you more than I could ever say and I look forward to as many more years as the LORD allows:)  

A day out of the house- Beautiful fall colors

So we have both been sick and my arms have not been cooperating so we decided to take a drive up to aspen and the area and see the Maroon Bells.  AMAZING!!! The only downer is all the smoke from up north made it hard to get good pictures.  So when that clears up some we will have to do it again.  Maybe after the first few snows:)  It is so beautiful up there.  We drove through Snowmass and wow it is pretty there than even aspen I think. Then we went into aspen and walked around and had ice cream.  By then it was time to drive to maroon bells a few miles up the mts.  You can only drive your vehicle in during certain hours and the other times you have to take a bus. I could see why with how many people were there and the lack of parking.  But it was a very fun trip.

Another injection

Well had another injection this am and this time a different one to see if it would help.  The doctor wanted to completely rule out CRPS.  This injection was even more painful than the others.  It went through the front f my neck right by my throat.  So it swelled up my neck some, caused a lump in my throat, made my eye red and droopy and such.  That all should go away today sometime but man does it hurt.  I can't see a difference yet but hopefully when all the drugs from sedation where of and some of the injection pain goes away we will see a difference.  I am so ready to have my life back.
   I am being told I may have to have a desk job and may not be able to do things like I use to.  Any of you that know me well knows that doesn't sit well with me.  I like to work hard and play hard.  I like to stay physical.  I fight my weight enough as it is with all the thyroid issues so staying so complacent has been rough, rough, rough and has taken an even bigger tole on the scale, which of course has made things even harder for me.  I hope to see less pain in the near months and then I hope to kick my rear back into physical gear.
  

I know, I know its early:)

My boys showing off their new Halloween pj's:)  I know it is early but those of you that know me know I LOVE HALLOWEEN:) I love to dress up and decorate.  I will have to post pics of them in last years costumes and such closer to Halloween:)

Fighting your own body!!!

I fight my own body daily!  What I mean by that is that my heart and mind is energetic, adventurous and determined   But my body is a mess:(  I always say I wish I could have one day to feel normal and good.  I can't think back and remember one day that I felt good.  I have always had issues with things since I was little.  I have never said it aloud but I think some may have come from the things my mom did while she was pregnant but we don't know and we can't change it.  But I have always had issues with my stomach(ulcers, acid reflex, etc)  My body has just not been well.
   I just get so mad and frustrated that I want to go and do and my body won't let me:(  I am tough and I can push through what most people can't and there are times I can't.  But as a woman we want to be beautiful and thin and healthy.  Me I am not.  I look at myself and it makes me SO sad.  I have aged sooooo much and gained sooooooo much since the thyroid went to crap and no matter what I do I can't get it to change.  When my thyroid finally really quit I gained 70lbs in about 2 1/2 months and no matter what I do I can't loose it.  I had my thyroid removed 4 years ago this month and in that 4 years it has only been in "normal" range for 2 months.  It changed constantly and we don't know why.  So it is VERY frustrating.  We are trying to work it out to get on the us health insurance so I can get in to see a specialist.  But it is all so much,  I feel like I am being buried by my own body. I feel trapped.  I feel ugly.  I feel worthless.  These are horrible feelings to have but they are there.  I keep going and I keep fighting but it is hard and it takes a toll on a person.
   The cancer haunts me daily especially with some of the recent tests showing spots on my ribs and liver.  I try to have a great outlook but it is hard.  I know others struggle daily with thyroid issues and other issues.  It is very hard and I know I am not alone.  I just hope there is something to help me to feel better.
   Sorry for righting a bummer post but it is the real in my life and between that and my arm and neck problems it is really kickin me down.  I keep fighting and trying to stay positive and keep goin but to be honest I am TIRED:( SOOOOO TIRED!
  I hope somewhere down the road I can look at this blog and see my struggle but no that I beat it!! Thanks for bearing with me!

Not much to post about lately

Not a lot to post about lately.  I have been struggling not only with the nerve pain issues and arm pain but we are back to struggling with my thyroid levels so I have felt like a truck ran me over.  In the last 4 years I have only had "normal" levels for 2 months.  We have tried so so so many levels but they just never stay the same!  So we are trying to work things out for an insurance that will actually cover me.  Hopefully we can find a good doctor that can help.  Just so much going on and I try to stay positive and just do what I have to do but with the cancer possibilities, the thyroid stuff and all the pain in my arms and neck it is a lot.  I am trying to stay positive and strong.  I will fight all I can.  So we will see what happens.
  Other than that not a lot to say we didn't do anything really for labor day weekend.  We are trying to get money and time together to get back up to South Dakota to get our other storage unit of stuff back down here.  I am working on Halloween stuff.  Yes already:)  My favorite holiday so I start early.  I am making my costume this year.  I am going to be a cute scarecrow:)  I am excited about my costume:)  It will be a lot of fun!
  It is awesome having Eric working in the same town we live in and not being gone 3 weeks out of the month.  He loves doing his mechanic work again so I am very happy for him.  Nice to be able to have lunch together sometimes.  I am very thankful for that:)
  I am just excited now about the start of fall.  Love the temperatures starting to cool and the leaves starting to change.  I need to quit slaking on my picture a day:)