2011 another crazy year!!

Well where to start with 2011??? It has been a crazy year with some big changes. And lots to think about for the future! I know no matter what I am truly blessed to have an amazing husband, and an awesome GOD that gives me hope and a future!!! It has been a year of trials but also of growth. Especially for me in trying to not stress so much and for turning it over to the LORD! We got out of ranching in January:( We both miss it sooooooooooooooooo very much, we realize you don't get rich doing it and it is the life style we like more than anything, but we weren't able to do it with all the medical bills and no health insurance. We still pray that we can find a ranch that either pays well enough to purchase health insurance or carries it so that we can get back to what we love. Money is needed and great for things but it isn't everything either so we just want to get things going in the right direction and hopefully get back to what we love...RANCHING:) But who knows you never know where GOD may put you next:) We have been loving Colorado for all it has to offer in views, hiking, and such. But is has been a trying year with me tearing the bicep tendons in both my arms in July, surgery on one and probably still yet on the other, Eric having an emergency appendectomy and then his recent hernia surgery. We are quite the pair this year!!! These past few years had really gotten me down and beat me up!! Especially since my body has not cooperated especially since the thyroid cancer. But I think it was a good thing in a way looking back.. I see that I can look at others and really try to understand them or what they are going through. To try and no judge them without knowing their whole story. It is easy to look in from the outside and say you do this, you do that, but to live it is different. Giving loving advice that comes from the heart is great, but support is better:) I just want to be a more rounded person and I think everything we go through in life does that if we let it!!! So I am actually really excited to see what 2012 brings to our life. I am sure there will be good and bad. But we will learn from them both:)
May everyone have a very very safe and Happy New Years!!!!!

Can't believe this is the last week of 2010!!

Every year seems to speed by faster and faster. I guess that is what you get for getting older and older:) I can't believe how crazy this year has been. From last December to this December we have moved 3 times and lived in 3 different states. Part of me wants to be so frustrated and feel like a failure but what happened to that part of me that use to exist that loved adventure. I guess that part has been told enough that doing that makes us failures and irresponsible. But really looking back I wouldn't change a thing, we have done some awesome things, met some life long friends and got a lot of experience in different kinds of ranching. It has all in all been a great experience. That is not to say it hasn't been frustrating and trying that it has!!!
It is just crazy when you look back at things and think how do I get here and I never in a million years would have thought I would be here or doing this. It is amazing what life and GOD can throw at you:) Even as we speak we may make yet another change. This job has been a wreck since we got here and gets worse as it goes so Eric has been just working and I have been looking for other options and we got a surprise one from and email from a ranch in eastern Oregon. Yes OREGON!! I have been wanting to be closer to family and that would put me within a half day drive. So we are praying and seeing what the LORD has for us. But I will miss the Colorado scenery if we move it is amazingly gorgeous here and I was so looking forward to so many awesome adventures here. We will see they may still happen.
This is a week I definitely do a lot of reflecting and a lot of dreaming. There are so many things I would like to do and things that I want to experience with my husband. Everyday should be precious and we shouldn't let those simple moments slip by without telling someone we love them, appreciate them or just plain miss them. You never know when it may be the last time you get to see them, talk to them or experience even the simplest things with them. I want to remember that this new year that is coming. To take each day as it comes and to cherish even the littlest of moments.

2009 Year in Review

Wow today is the last day of 2009. To be honest I am torn to say if it was a great year or a not so great year. Really it was half and half. Some of my greatest joys happened and then some of the worst things ever did. I am just praying this year will be full of blessings and that the LORD would really show us where he wants us to go in this life:) Not to menchin I am really really hoping to get healthy this year. That would be a huge thing:) I wish my computer would let me upload new pictures but it won't:( I hope to get a new one this year!! Make my blogs more interesting:) Well here goes the review.

January 2009
Well by this time we were so far behind on bills and such from my surgery and the cancer treatment and such that we knew were going to end up loosing our house and to be honest our house was so old and brick we could afford to keep it above 50 and being sick and cold didn't work out so well so Eric found a job on a ranch in the sandhills of nebraska that included housing. We had to say goodbye to our few friends and it was going to be off we go!

February 2009-

The 1st we were there and Eric was starting work on the new ranch. He really had to throw himself in there as he had one week before he was put on night calving. 7 days a week from 5pm-8am was his watch. I had to go back and finish at the old house and this was the month that broke my heart into a million pieces:((Tears upon Tears) I had to give up my horse babies:( They were my babies and my world and I still am sooo torn up about it and honestly not sure if I will ever get over it. But it was best for them. I couldn't expect them to live in a blizzard region with no shelters.

My Baby girl shar and yes I know I am backwards:) My baby boy Chief!!

March 2009-

Well we were just busy with night calving and painting the house to stay awake:) I loved night calving. It is sooooo beautiful out under the stars and since we were so remote you could see so many more stars and shooting stars. It was just a great time to spend with my fiance(at the time:)) and getting to see all the babies born is awesome!!! But we did have 3 bad blizzards within 3 weekends toward end of the month and it was dangerous and work to say the least. White outs and burying the trucks up to the roof. But we didn't loose a single calf in all of those, we made sure we watched them and we got them into the barn as soon as they dropped. Also my birthday month but with calving no real celebration.

April 2009-

Got a call from my brother and his fiance wanting to buy me a ticket back to Oregon in exchange for watching my nephew for two weeks while my parents (who usually watch him) were on vacation. I was very excited as we weren't able to afford to go back and my best friend was due for her baby early may. So we made the flights for April 18-June 13. Long time to be away from Handsome but didn't want to miss my best friends baby being born:) So I spent the last half of the month baby sitting my 1 1/2 year old nephew. He is the cutest:) Great to spend time with him

Me and my nephew Tanner

May 2009-

This was a very awesome month as my best friend had her daughter Makayla May and I got to to be in the delivery room and see her born. Yes I got to help hold her legs and see that little beautiful girl come into this world. Amazing!!!!! So glad I didn't have to miss that. It was a busy month with 3 more babies being born in the family and then memorial day we went to the beach for the weekend and rented a house. It was awesome and I realized how much I miss the beach. But by this time I was beyond missing my handsome.

The beach house we rented with a lot of us

June 2009-

More baby showers for the fall babies to be born, everyone was busy this year:) Lots of babies. Then the 13th it was back to the ranch, which I was sooooooooooooo ready for:)

July 2009-

Our first and only visitors. my grandparents came to visit over fourth of July:) It was a great time and they loved the ranch. It was just great to have visitors. By this time we are busy still tyring to get all the wedding plans in order. For we had already given up the idea of our dream wedding and knew it would just have to be the two of us.

August 2009-

The wedding is next month and we are busy busy trying to find me a dress and do everything and afford everything. But we managed to get to church more and made some great friends there. We went to camp outs and lots of fun church events. Rodeos. etc. Just a fun summer month:)

September 2009-

I blogged all about our wedding struggles(http://acountrycowgirl.blogspot.com/) but to say the least it was a struggle, but it started coming together with a lot of help from other people we didn't expect. On sept 26th after 3 years we finally said I do and it was the best day ever and in the most beautiful place. we were just so excited to be married. Then we left on our honeymoon for Mt Rushmore and surrounding areas as we didn't have much money. It was so awesome there and we really enjoyed all the neat things to see and do.

October 2009-

Now we are just trying to figure out what we should do. We are getting no where paying off our debt and I still need to do more doctor appointments and they want me to do more tests, but we can't afford it. We start looking around for another alternative. Something closer to a little bigger city so that hopefully I can find a job to. Oh and of course Halloween my favorite holiday:) Costume parties:)

Gotta love the costumes:)

November 2009-

We actually found a place about 4 hours away in south Dakota and went for an interview. The place was beautiful and such but we weren't sure if we should make the move. They still had a lot of interviews when we had left so it wasn't till two weeks later that we got the call and they really wanted handsome since he had so many mechanical abilities, so we decided we would go. It was sad to say good bye to all our sandhill friends and church but we started packing and saying good byes

December 2009-

December 1st another doctor appointment on our way out of town with our last moving load. Some more not sooo good news and more test I need we can't afford. But we got to the new ranch and are settling in well as you can read from the previous post. Christmas was a blizzard and kind of lonesome but at least we got to spend this Christmas as husband and wife:) Still looking for work though. Oh and we added another family member:) A little orange kitten named Tonka. He keeps us busy and full of laughs.

Kohanna and Bear enjoying the snow. Reks is inside keeping warm:)

I know I know this was a long post and believe me I left a lot out. But it is just good to go back and look later to see where you have been:) I am excited and nervous to see what 2010 brings. I pray it brings us out of debt and me into good health:) I would really like to take a honeymoon to:) Just never know. May every ones New Year be extremely blessed. Look forward to see what it brings for everyone!

Time for the new year to begin and time for some changes

I can't believe that in like 4 days it will be 2010. A whole decade gone already and it seems like it just started a few months ago. I look at it and realize that this year I will turn 30. A whole part of my life is over. I am not saying that life is over, but that part is. It is sad but exciting to. I am nervous and excited to see what God will do in our lives now.
There are so many things that I want to do or change this year. The biggest thing for us is we want to get out of debt and start to have so savings and emergency funds( oh do I love Dave Ramsey) we want to not have to worry every minute how things will be covered and if we need something we can get it. To not be a slave to debt and money. So we have our work cut out for us there:) First off that means finding me a job, and that has proven especially with the economy to be harder than you would think. Secondly no spending till the debts are paid. Seems simple:) ha! ha!

I also want to feel better this year. Most of the reason for the debt and frustration in our life is me feeling crappy everyday. With no insurance, cancer, thyroid problems and such it is a very bleak looking problem. But we have turned it all over to the LORD and trust he will help us out with it all. but I would love to wake up even if for one day without feeling nauseous, sick, dizzy, and pain. I would love to be able to go out and play and work without worrying about my heart messing up or getting sick. Just to be able to enjoy the time with my husband and pets without wondering if I am going to wake up the next morning to be there with them. I am not scared of dieing as I know that I am going to an amazing place but I would be sad not to grow old with my husband. I enjoy the life the LORD has given me down here and would love to have many years to serve him here.
My other biggest thing is to loose weight. I know every woman says that but for me it is a huge deal and it has really really been bothering me. I have gained 70lbs since being ill. That is a huge difference. 10 sizes. It makes me feel terrible and I hate even looking at myself in the mirror or going out in public. It is sad that I look at my wedding pictures and I can't get past the fact of how terribly obese I am!!!!:( But with my heart hurting(literally) so much and the dizziness and such, every time I try and work out I throw up or feel like I am having a heart attack. And even if I push my way through it I can't drop any weight even with a good diet. It is SSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOO frustrating!!!

I just want to start living a more productive healthy lifestyle:) To enjoy life and get out and experience more of it again. I have always been a go getter and an adventurer and the cancer has taken that from me and I will take it back!!!!!!