I can't believe that in like 4 days it will be 2010. A whole decade gone already and it seems like it just started a few months ago. I look at it and realize that this year I will turn 30. A whole part of my life is over. I am not saying that life is over, but that part is. It is sad but exciting to. I am nervous and excited to see what God will do in our lives now.
There are so many things that I want to do or change this year. The biggest thing for us is we want to get out of debt and start to have so savings and emergency funds( oh do I love Dave Ramsey) we want to not have to worry every minute how things will be covered and if we need something we can get it. To not be a slave to debt and money. So we have our work cut out for us there:) First off that means finding me a job, and that has proven especially with the economy to be harder than you would think. Secondly no spending till the debts are paid. Seems simple:) ha! ha!
I also want to feel better this year. Most of the reason for the debt and frustration in our life is me feeling crappy everyday. With no insurance, cancer, thyroid problems and such it is a very bleak looking problem. But we have turned it all over to the LORD and trust he will help us out with it all. but I would love to wake up even if for one day without feeling nauseous, sick, dizzy, and pain. I would love to be able to go out and play and work without worrying about my heart messing up or getting sick. Just to be able to enjoy the time with my husband and pets without wondering if I am going to wake up the next morning to be there with them. I am not scared of dieing as I know that I am going to an amazing place but I would be sad not to grow old with my husband. I enjoy the life the LORD has given me down here and would love to have many years to serve him here.
My other biggest thing is to loose weight. I know every woman says that but for me it is a huge deal and it has really really been bothering me. I have gained 70lbs since being ill. That is a huge difference. 10 sizes. It makes me feel terrible and I hate even looking at myself in the mirror or going out in public. It is sad that I look at my wedding pictures and I can't get past the fact of how terribly obese I am!!!!:( But with my heart hurting(literally) so much and the dizziness and such, every time I try and work out I throw up or feel like I am having a heart attack. And even if I push my way through it I can't drop any weight even with a good diet. It is SSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOO frustrating!!!
I just want to start living a more productive healthy lifestyle:) To enjoy life and get out and experience more of it again. I have always been a go getter and an adventurer and the cancer has taken that from me and I will take it back!!!!!!
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