Restless!!!

So I am just so restless. Working on the ranch part time has helped but I still find myself restless. I have always been somebody who goes, goes, goes and always has something to do or somewhere to go. But the last couple years of my life have been prity quite. Don't get me wrong I love the ranch life, but I am such a people person and it can get prity lonely out here. I think more than anything I miss doing the fun active things like camping, hiking, trail riding with friends, just doing things with people in general. Most of all I really miss the horse shows. I loved being a barn manager and I loved showing. It kept me in great shape physically and it held me to goals and helped me to work on being a better horseman and person.

I loved the smell of the barns, I loved the sounds of all the people preparing, I loved the adrenaline of almost dieing when you have way to many people in a warm up arena(ok maybe not that part:), I loved watching others we knew in their classes and cheering them on, I loved the arabian barn parties, the traveling, and I loved to be out in the arena at 2am working my horses when there was prity much no one else around:) I loved sleeping in the tack stall at the shows and hearing all those horsey sounds. Who am I kidding I miss it all.

I guess now I just feel like I am going no where and don't really have direction in my life. I want to feel like I am doing something with my life and that I am making a difference in some way. I am sooooo lucky to be married to such an awesome man and a man that loves to be with me and spend time with me. I thank the LORD everyday for that. But I just feel like I need something more. Just something to work at and to accomplish.

I know I am just rambling and I am sorry, I just am needing to feel some sort of accomplishment and excitement I guess. I am not good at pushing myself and I will admit that. I have always done better in groups or in some kind of setting where you have to work towards something. Like showing I wanted to be the best and I don't mean that in a cut throat or uppity way, but I wanted to ride the best and I wanted to see a set of roses on my horse at nationals someday:) That helped me to focus and to train well. I worked really hard on my training and also on my horse. I just need that again.

Well you never know where life will take you, my life has gone many directions I never would have seen. So I will just do the best I can to be satisfied and happy where I am and see where it all goes next. Who knows maybe I will end up in that show ring again:)