Hitting the Road Finally

Well we will be leaving the farm at 4am tomorrow.  We have had a lot going on at the farm and are leaving a few days late.  We will be heading down to southern california to drop a horse off and then across to Scottsdale for the big Arabian Show.  I am soooooooooooo excited to see all the horses.  We will be there with Q Nine selling presentation sets and halter stuff.  It is going to be a lot of work but a lot of fun at the same time. We will be gone almost 3 weeks so I am going to miss my handsome and all my critters tons. The dogs will be going to work with Eric during the day so that will be fun for them:)  Well if any of you are attending the Scottsdale Arabian Show stop by the Q nine booth at Wendell arena and say hello:)

Little over a week

In little over a week I will be hitting the road for Scottsdale Arizona.  I will be going down to work. We are going to have booth at the Scottsdale Arabian Horse Show. We will have one filly being shown in the show and we will have a foal being born sometime while we are down there that we will get to see:)  It is going to be a lot of work but it is going to be a GREAT time:)  We will be driving down with a horse so we we will stop over in California and then keep going next day.  The show runs 2 weeks.  We will get there and set up before the show and then take down when it ends have one day off and then head home.  So lots to do!!
  I am just trying to get all settled here at home for my husband and get all the critters stuff ready for while I am gone and then trying get all set at the farm for while we are gone.  I know I will have a great time but it is stressful preparing!
  I can't wait to see all the horses, meet lots of new people and I am excited to see some friends that have recently moved down there:)  I can't wait to share pictures and stories from the trip:)

Stuck

I just feel stuck.  I feel stuck in my life and I really don't know how to get unstuck.  I think my 4 wheel drive is broken:(  I am praying and just taking some time to really think on some things. On my health, my career, etc.  I have been working out with family at a local studio 4-5 times a week.  It feels good to be active in my brain for sure but my arms are making it VERY difficult to say the least:(  But I am just pushing on and will see what happens. I am definitely tired of being obese and want to get healthy. I want to feel good in my own skin, in my clothes. I want to feel good inside an out.  So I am trying to do the best I can.  I have always been super competitive and I tend to push supper hard so I am fighting myself not to overdo it and not to bash myself because I can't do enough. So trying to find balance.
 I am trying to make a decision whether to say at my current job or not.  There is a lot going on there and I feel like I could do more else where.  I feel like I could do better financially and performance wise some where else.  But I do love the horses and I do love some of the people I work with.  I love the farm dearly!  But I am just not sure it is the right fit for me.  I will keep praying and  thinking on it.
  We are trying to decide on if we want to make Oregon permanent or not.  I don't think it will be.  We are both tired of moving but I don't want to just stay because I don't want to move.  I want to live where "home" is.  Where we are happy, healthy and living life to its fullest.  I don't believe that is Oregon. To be honest I think it sucks the life out.  It is a beautiful state and lots to offer but I would like a slower paced life, less people and definitely less outside drama from family and such. Honestly the only thing holding me here is my old horse.  I don't want to uproot her again with her anxiety issues and move her to more severe climates.  But I am starting think we need to look at options of moving and finding a good place for her wherever we go.  She is old but she could live a lot more years possibly to:)  I hope so:)  Love that ole girl!!
   I want to get back to being excited about life.  Get back to loving all the simple things.  To appreciating every little thing this world has to offer.  I am trying to remember gratitude and attitude go a long ways:)  I just want to quit being STUCK!

Family Secrets

Well I wrote on this a little bit back in November before Thanksgiving but I wanted to do a little update as this is something that has affected my life in a big way.  My bio dad had come back into the picture after 20 years of no one hearing from him and after almost 30 years of not being in my life at all except one letter when I was 14 and then him stalking at times.  He is a VERY VERY VERY bad person and a very dangerous person.  He beat my mom badly, he threatened to kill her, he cheated, he stole, and on and on and on.  So NOT a good person.  I am actually thankful he stayed gone for so long and sadly wish he had continued that.  He is very manipulative and can lie his way into a lot of things.
   My grandparents and aunt bought his I have changed, I have repented BS hook line and sinker.  It has caused a huge rift between all of us:(  He told them he came here because he wanted family and wanted to be "home" again.  Well I did some research of my own and that isn't the truth at all:(  I can't go into all the details but it is really bad and I am just shocked and horrified to say the least:( I knew in my gut he didn't have good intentions and I am sorry but someone with pure Evil in his heart can't change that.  That man is EVIL!
  I am broken hearted that it destroyed the relationship with me and my grandparents but we all make our choices and they have made theirs:(  I know it is their son and I am sure it hurts deeply to not have had him in their lives, but they choose that because of how horrible he was, the lying he did, how dangerous he was.  But they seem to forget all that:(  I just don't know how they think it is ok for him to just walk back in our lives and he had told them not to even tell us kids they were in contact.  I don't know how they thought that was ok and then I find out I have a half sister.  She is VERY young and she doesn't even know about me and my brother:(  How could he keep that from her?  And my grandparents think that is all ok.  They say we are called to forgive and they are going to forgive and walk in love.  Ok I get we are called to forgive and I will forgive but that does not mean we have to allow that person into our lives and it sure doesn't mean we don't proceed with caution with people that have a habit of doing bad things over and over and over for over 50 years.
   I know its very vague but there is a lot I just can't talk about and really it is stuff people shouldn't have to think about or go through.  I am just trying to process everything and move on.  I will not let him consume my life and everyone makes their choices and so I will accept them and move on.
   I want to concentrate on a better, happier, healthier me in 2015:)

Busy at the Barn

Now that the holidays are over we start getting things busier again at work.  We are trying to get everything ready for the big Scottsdale Arabian show in February.  I will be going down there for 3 weeks.  We will be working at the show and we will have a filly showing at the show.  Along with that trying to manage the farm from afar.  So there is a lot to be done in preparation.  Not only at the farm but at home.  So I am busy, busy, busy.

I am excited to be going down to work at one of the best shows in the country and to see all the amazing arabian horses this world has to offer.  It is the 60th anniversary so it should be an amazing show.   I am excited to see how our filly does.  She is for sale so hoping we get her sold down there also:) 

It is so great to get to work in the horse industry.  I miss getting to actually ride and work with the horses more like I did before but I do the best I can with all my health issues and am just blessed to be around them all day and get to help where I can.  I love all our horses and takes A LOT of pride in my job and the farm.  

Hoping 2015 brings great opportunities not only for me but for the farm to;)  I will try and get a new camera before Scottsdale so I can share pictures and updates from there:)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I can't wait to see how this book turns out!!!

Perhaps a Romantic Comedy??? :)

Reflection

  The end of the year always brings much reflection.  I try to do that throughout the year but end of the year always get ya to thinkin of what you want in the New Year.  It has been a rough couple of months the last of this year.  Most of which I cannot share yet:(  But it has been VERY hard.  True colors came out in unexpected places.  It really broke me.  Not much left to break to be honest.  But I have been praying and thinking and I am not going to continue to let others drag me down or make me feel bad about my life.  I want to forgive, grow and move on.  I want 2015 to be a GREAT year.  A pivotal life changing year.  I want to be happy, healthy and enjoy every moment.  That won't always be easy but I am making a conscious choice to change and to take control.
   So far this week has been a great start to look forward to the new year.  We finally sold our 5th wheel so we got rid of that payment:) YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! and without that payment we signed me up for health insurance.  Yes FINALLY health insurance:)  So now praying for great doctors and great answers. I know it is still a long road but at least we have started down it:)
   Our biggest challenge is that we really don't know where we want to be in life:(  It is hard when part of your heart is in soooo many different places:(  But we both know since we have moved here we are definitely not as happy, we don't like the hustle, we don't like the overcrowding and high cost of living.  So we are probably not going to stay here permanently.  We both LOVE South Dakota soooo very much and that is at the top of the list.  Truthfully if it hadn't been for my old horse we would have moved this year, but I couldn't leave her behind and I don't think she can make it in such harsh weather.  So we put it on hold.  We have thought of eastern Oregon so I could be closer to family but not so close I am submerged in the family drama.  That is another thing we are both choosing not to participate in.  Which can be hard at times.  So we are just hoping for clear answers and the way to make things happen.  We would just love to have our own place someday!  We do miss the ranches desperately and have thought of going back to that also.  So who knows what 2015 will bring!!!
   Life is short! To short to be so full of hurt, sadness and worry!!! So wanting to live each day to its fullest in 2015 and everyday after:)  Hope everyone has an amazing 2015!!!