Reflection

  The end of the year always brings much reflection.  I try to do that throughout the year but end of the year always get ya to thinkin of what you want in the New Year.  It has been a rough couple of months the last of this year.  Most of which I cannot share yet:(  But it has been VERY hard.  True colors came out in unexpected places.  It really broke me.  Not much left to break to be honest.  But I have been praying and thinking and I am not going to continue to let others drag me down or make me feel bad about my life.  I want to forgive, grow and move on.  I want 2015 to be a GREAT year.  A pivotal life changing year.  I want to be happy, healthy and enjoy every moment.  That won't always be easy but I am making a conscious choice to change and to take control.
   So far this week has been a great start to look forward to the new year.  We finally sold our 5th wheel so we got rid of that payment:) YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! and without that payment we signed me up for health insurance.  Yes FINALLY health insurance:)  So now praying for great doctors and great answers. I know it is still a long road but at least we have started down it:)
   Our biggest challenge is that we really don't know where we want to be in life:(  It is hard when part of your heart is in soooo many different places:(  But we both know since we have moved here we are definitely not as happy, we don't like the hustle, we don't like the overcrowding and high cost of living.  So we are probably not going to stay here permanently.  We both LOVE South Dakota soooo very much and that is at the top of the list.  Truthfully if it hadn't been for my old horse we would have moved this year, but I couldn't leave her behind and I don't think she can make it in such harsh weather.  So we put it on hold.  We have thought of eastern Oregon so I could be closer to family but not so close I am submerged in the family drama.  That is another thing we are both choosing not to participate in.  Which can be hard at times.  So we are just hoping for clear answers and the way to make things happen.  We would just love to have our own place someday!  We do miss the ranches desperately and have thought of going back to that also.  So who knows what 2015 will bring!!!
   Life is short! To short to be so full of hurt, sadness and worry!!! So wanting to live each day to its fullest in 2015 and everyday after:)  Hope everyone has an amazing 2015!!!