Missing riding sooooooooo much!! Feeling a tug!

I have really missed riding A LOT!!! I of course haven't been able to do anything with my horse other than look at her and give her treats and a few pets since I have been injured but it has been longer than that since I have really ridden her. She is older and has some soundness issues that I really don't feel comfortable putting my fat self on her for long. I need to get a vet out and have her looked over and see what they think but really she is only going to be an easy rider if that. I miss REALLY riding! I use to ride all the time. That was my thing to keep my peace:) I loved showing and barrel racing and all that fun stuff. I am feeling a Tug to want to get back into it. A huge part of me just feels dead. But right now we just can't do it. So I guess it is just more incentive to take care of my arms so they heal properly and to really be disciplined in spending and such to try to set it up so we can get a couple of good, broke, ready to enjoy horses and be able to give them everything they need. I would love more than anything to do a drill team for rodeos or even the simplest to carry the flag at the opening of the rodeo, that is a huge dream for me:) I know so silly but I LOVE IT!!! I also would love to ride in parades and such again. So for now dream, dream, dream:)