What an oxymoron for a title huh:) But it sums me up prity well. I am afraid of a lot of things and even afraid of being afraid. We are on week 4 of Beth Moore and in the video she started talking about how crippling fear can be and it was so funny because that was something I had been really praying on and trying to figure out.
I have just been through so much in life that it has made me get more and more fearful. I try to not worry so much and I try not to fear so much, but it seems every time I had let my guard down I have been hurt either physically or emotionally. But my other fear is that if I stop myself from doing things or letting people in that I will miss out on some really great things!!! Which I think is totally true.
I am not afraid to die. I have had to face that all to many times in my life and I am not afraid. I know that I am saved and I know that an awesome eternity with God awaits me:) But I am afraid of loosing those I love. My poor husband had to deal with that a lot, I am a safety patrol officer in our life:) I know he just wants me to get off his back I am sure but I am so afraid of loosing him or even have him get hurt badly. So I am constantly asking him to do things safer or pay closer attention which in something is not bad at all, I think being safe is a good thing, but when it crosses over and makes me not enjoy the things we are doing cause I am so afraid of what might happen that is what gets in the way!!!
I guess the eye opener was Beth saying even if your worst fears come true you will be ok!!! True!!! I am trying to pray really hard and to let myself relax, put it all in his hands and to trust GOD!!!! It is going to be so hard for me as I just have that nagging feeling something bad is going to happen all the time and I was never like that before, but as life has thrown one thing after another, after another at me it is hard.
I am going to trust the LORD and really try hard to let the LORD heal this in me. But I know it is truly hindering me in my life and defiantly in my relationship with GOD. I just want to not worry:)
I understand fear and I think you are expressing it well and logically. You will work your way through it. I had an aquaintance with crippling fear and anxiety and then her worst fear happened. Her husband and 2 daughters were in a horrible accident. Both little girls died and her husband was severely burned and thought not to live. She told me how her anxiety left and expressed just what you quoted Beth as saying, that even if your worst fears happen it will be ok.
ReplyDeleteGod's blessing on your journey.
It is human nature to worry. I know we all struggle with it. And yet God tells us not to worry or fear. I think God gave us the feeling of worry so we could struggle to overcome it and learn to lean on Him and trust Him completely. If that ever truly happens (the not worrying) I don't know. I worry all the time about a million things. But what was said is true...no matter what happens, He will take care of you.
ReplyDeleteI just finished this book, and you need to read it. It was a marvelous story, and speaks to this very human struggle.
http://historical-fiction-review.blogspot.com/2005/10/finding-anna-story-behind-beloved-hymn.html
Girl, I totally understand fear. I struggle with the same thing, fear of losing those I loved being #1 on my list.
ReplyDeleteAnd then fear of the future, and what's going to happen in the country rates #2.
And so on and so forth. Fear has always been my enemy. I can't say that I have overcome it yet, it's an every day process. I just have to remember that fear does NOT come from the Lord. Fear comes from Satan. And he knows our weaknesses, and knows how to use them against us.
Anyway, I just pray for the strength to trust HIM. Sometimes it's hard, but His word says it's by HIS strength not ours. We can't do anything without HIM.