SO perfectly said!!! This is me in a small quote. I am still working on the second half for sure. I find myself still wanting to hold onto people I shouldn't. I don't like to give up on people, because I don't like to be givin up on but in reality most of the people have given up on me, or honestly never truly cared that much. It makes me sooooooooooooooooooo sad to realize that but I need to realize it and I need to address it and let it go. I think these past couple of years have been rough because I have really really tried to hold onto people and relationships I should have let go. It breaks my heart to realize it and to figure out how to address it. But in reality it is holding me back in life. The hurt, sadness, frustration and anger only hurt me. I hurt for people who don't hurt for me. I hurt for people that I wasn't important to. I came back to a place holding onto these ideas that it was where I belonged and in reality I don't belong. I have hurt so deeply over so many things and it is only hurting me. I need to get all that hurt out, deal with it and let it go. I am not sure how I will do all that yet but at least I know I need to. Now to figure out how to. I just don't want to become a cold, hard, unhappy person. I want that sparkle, that bubbliness, that happy me back. I should never have let people take that from me and I won't make that mistake again. I deserve better and my husband definitely deserves better. So we shall see where the growing comes in. I know this will get harder before it gets better.
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